My way to creative studies
Cameras and family album photos have always been in my life as a true 90’s child. Few of my aunts were taking pictures at every birthday and celebration. I even had my own cameras and mom got my films developed. I must say the images are not great but I appreciate the support. As a child I drew, drew and sometimes had weird photoshoots with my cousin. As a teen I started drawing comics and styling the photoshoots more and put the images to my DeviantArt account. Too bad I have deleted most of that material from the internet. DeviantArt and other creative websites were my first touches to outside communities and feedback other than my friends and family.
In elementary and junior high I was always seen as ‘the one who draws well’. My friend’s big sister had applied to an art high school and that’s how we heard about it. My family and teachers encouraged me to leave my hometown behind and pursue more creative studies. Ever since I was 10 years old my goal was to move away from my home. I am now working on a documentary photography project about my hometown Vieremä and I will write about it in another blog post.
I entered Lapinlahti Art high school in 2007. I loved drawing, painting and comics. One of the reasons I wanted to graduate high school was the promise of a dslr camera as a graduation present but I never thought that would be my career. For the longest time I wanted to be an actor or draw comics. It was all I did. I acted and I drew. In high school I noticed that I was too lazy to draw as much as was needed to become a professional and just lost inspiration to act. I was more interested in languages or fashion design. Also for a small town girl it was a wake up call to see all the other students who were so passionate and creative. They were hungry to learn more and become artists. It felt weird to not be the best in class and get the best scores from the courses. Other people were better. The only courses where I really did well were photography and videography. I spend so many hours in the darkroom developing black and white film and listening to Ramstein from the small FM radio. Still it didn’t click for me that that’s what I wanted.
I met my high school guidance counsellor many years after high school after I had already chosen photography as my career. She was so confused to hear that I pursued a creative field after all. I was so against it in my last year of high school. I saw it as a nice hobby but not as a way to sustain yourself. I lost my spark and I lost the faith in my own skills because I hadn’t yet found my medium.
I graduated and got my dslr. My first one. It was a Canon 1000D and I loved it so much. But back in 2010 I had no artistic ambitions. I took images for my fashion blog, followed my cats with the camera and took a lot of selfies with a wide-angle lens. I was working as a cashier in a supermarket and was so lost. The work was relatively easy and paid OK money but it was not what I wanted. But what did I want? What would my future be? What could I do? I started researching schools and careers. I remember sitting at my job and thinking ”What do I like to do? What would not make me hate my daily life?” I didn’t want to live just for the weekends or holidays. Those were hard times mentaly and physically since the job caused me chronic inflammation in my wrists and elbows.
Something needed to happen and it had to happen fast. I had to take action and change the course of my life and of my career.
Stay tuned for part two about how I started studying photography!
